i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
