therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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