It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Found your dick twin last night
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
