well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
