I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
