Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
