i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
