I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
