How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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