Dual....:-)
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
