One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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