Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize