He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
did i just pee glitter
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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