really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
