I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
