I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
