she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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