So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it's great music for shaving your balls
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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