Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize