In the future we'll all be gay
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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