so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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