apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
