just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
