also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
