If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Are we still banned from the library?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
