Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
