The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
