I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
