lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
