We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
