oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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