He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
