Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
