Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
