Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
