What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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