All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
