hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
