You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
