Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
