i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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