Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
