Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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