So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
