He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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