Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
