(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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