my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
