As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
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He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
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At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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