i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
how drunk are you?
Several
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
