Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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