Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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