Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize