PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
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dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
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He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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