look no pants
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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