I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Your dad touched me again.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
